Thank you. Thank you for supporting me with your prayers, e-mails, and finances. Thank you for reading my blog. I have been so honored by your encouragement throughout the year. Being able to share the stories with you has been one of my favorite parts of the Race. That's it. I just want to say thank you. Here is a 6ish minute video I put together to recap the year. Hopefully it captures just a little bit of what the Lord has done, and I pray you're blessed by it. Love you dearly, and I can't wait to literally walk side by side with you again in a short time as we chase after all that the Lord has for us.

Hello from Romania! I am currently in the city of Arad near the border of Hungary. I am serving with Team Umoja for the entire month. It is a joy to be with them. Most months I am traveling through the country and bouncing from team to team every week or two as a squad leader, but I decided to stick with just one team this month. It's that season of the race for me. I needed a team again. I've been with teams almost every day of the race, but there's definitely a difference between being with one and being on one. I chose this team because they can speak into this season of my life. They are going deep with the Lord and want every part of him. They are full of life and will fight to get the best out of each other.

It's sharing life, and it's ministry.  I am sharing life with the team this month, and the team is sharing life with the students. That is ministry. The team ministers to each other by laughing, crying, sharing the depths of who we are, exploring the mystery and beauty of the Lord, worshiping, throwing a football, praying, sitting down for dinner together, preferring each other's needs above our own, and sitting 3 wide on a bench in McDonald's for far too long while Romanians give you funny looks. The students immediately see the life of a healthy team and want to share in it. So that's exactly what happens. We share life. We play soccer, talk about the crazy food we've eaten and how it's caused us to scramble for a bathroom, talk about the sex trafficking problem in Thailand, go paintballing, have late-night faith conversations, hold hands with disabled students, and sing the same ridiculous songs that we've sung all over the world. It's just life, but "just life" is a powerful ministry, and the Lord is so proud of us for living in a way that glorifies him.     

The things I'm writing about are things I'm still working through. Maybe I'll have a new understanding once I've worked through more. It's something I've observed in my life lately, and I think there's too much there for me to just dismiss it. 

I've noticed that I'm exhausted. I know, not surprising since I'm in month 10 of an 11 month mission trip. However, it's more than that. I've noticed that above all else, the thing that's wearing me out the most is from doing and doing and doing and not living in who I am...not just "being". There's a reason for that. I would like to be something more than what I already am. Hope you're with me so far!

When I went to training camp 358 days ago, I was excited to be a part of something so incredible and not have a specific role or responsibility. That changed at the end of training camp when I became a team leader and again in April when I became a squad leader. Those have been incredible opportunities, and I know that's part of what the Lord had for me this year. I'm so thankful and would never trade what this year has been. However, when my roles changed and my responsibilities increased, the attention I gave to those responsibilities increased, and there was much more to do. That's what I've been struggling with. There have been amazing opportunities to serve, teach, minister, and love, and I have been doing all those things. However, that's the problem and also what's wearing me out. I've found that my actions, at times, have come from a place of responsibility more than from a place of authenticity. They've come from a place of "well, this is what a squad leader does" rather than from desiring to do anything and everything for the squad because that's just who I am. It's as if who I am right now doesn't completely match up with who I think I should be in a particular role. It gets tricky though because who I think I should be is likely where the Lord is leading me, and I'm trying to be who I should be through "doing". Hope that makes sense. Basically, I know the Lord is taking me places, and I try to "do" things as if I'm already there. 

I'm not sure how this process works. Maybe you can relate. If you do things enough times, does it become who you are? Do you convince yourself or train yourself that what you do is who you are? I would think there would be a significant disconnect between your heart and your actions. Does doing things enough times eventually activate something to make you become what you're trying to be or does it just consistently make you feel fake?  Answering "yes" to any of those questions seems ridiculous to me, but maybe I'm wrong. I don't think you can do things repeatedly to change who you are. It might change who others think you are but not who you are. 

That life sounds exhausting.  It seems like a life where you probably feel like you're faking it. I feel like that sometimes...although there have been countless times when I've genuinely operated from a place of authenticity.  For me, these thoughts are bigger than just something I'm going through this year. This kind of stuff can happen in your job. It can be a part of marriage, and it can be a part of your faith. How many times do we do things only because it's our responsibility or because we're supposed to. People notice it too. It doesn't look or feel authentic. There is no life in it. I feel like that happens in Christianity all the time. There has to be something wrong there!

There is definitely a difference between doing and being. Maybe that's why I've started thinking about it the most this year. I see people on this squad who are living life in who they are and who they were created to be. They are full of life, and it's authentic! There is such a huge contrast in who they are...the contrast is life and death. It's the Holy Spirit living inside of them and bringing them to life. Living out who you are is full of life and is life giving to others. It's selfless, encouraging, loving, peaceful, joyful, fiery, and passionate. It's natural, and it's the work of the Holy Spirit. Jesus, when talking about the Holy Spirit, said in John 7:37&38, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within them". It doesn't exhaust you since it's not an effort to just live out who you are as opposed to it taking great effort to try to live out something that you're not. 

Have you seen "The Legend of Bagger Vance"? In the movie Will Smith (Bagger) is a golf caddie for Matt Damon (Rannulph Junuh), who has "lost his swing" after returning home from WWI with tons of emotional baggage. The movie is about Bagger helping Junuh remember who he was and find his swing. At one point in the movie, they are out on the course and Junuh has no idea what shot to play. He is starting to remember who he is and get his swing back so he has some options as far as what club to choose and how to play the shot. However, Bagger starts talking to him again about finding his swing...his perfect and authentic swing. In the midst of the craziness that is his past and the huge tournament that they're playing in, there is still a perfect swing hidden somewhere in there that is uniquely his and only his. It was a swing he was born with and that nobody can duplicate. In that moment, it's not about his past, the tournament, or even the game of golf.  It's about finding HIS swing...a swing that makes people stop and stare in awe.  There are some parallels there to what I'm talking about. The bigger picture is where your identity is, but my thoughts lately have been more focused on what Bagger was talking about...finding the swing that is uniquely yours and only yours. The one where it's not something that you practice ("doing"), it's something that just happens because it's awkward and annoying to swing it any other way ("being").

So, what do you do if you know you're not being who you are, and you know you're trying to "do" what you want to "be"? If it is true that life flows through the Holy Spirit, your true identity is in Christ, and God created you uniquely you, then I think we have our answer. God can change your life. If you are becoming more like Christ, then you are also becoming more of the person you were created to be. If the Holy Spirit is living in you and flowing out of you, then you will be fully alive, and it will be contagious. 

Christ is talking about being alive, free, and living out a life of being in him. That is a life covered in grace and love...grace and love for yourself and for others. A person who is free and covered in grace and love does not do things out of obligation or because it's their job. They do things because that's who they are. It becomes the opposite of what we often experience. Instead of it being exhausting to love and lead others to freedom and transformation, it becomes exhausting NOT to!! Doing those things becomes easy. It's not "doing" at all anymore, it's "being". It's natural. It's who they are because they've walked through the crap in their lives being led by the Spirit of God who Christ said would come after he left, and he did come. And he's still here. Just as Christ wanted freedom in the lives of his followers, his Holy Spirit wants the same. Christ lived, died, and was resurrected so that we might live in freedom and have life abundantly. The Holy Spirit is actively pursuing those same things in us. Why is it so important? Again, it's the difference between life and death. 

 

Anyway, those are some of the thoughts I've been having lately. Of course, I wish I could be speaking about this after having completely walked through it. Holy Spirit, I trust you'll lead me there soon. Hopefully you found some value in it. It seems to be a road worth walking down, and I'd love to hear some wisdom from you if you're further down this road than I am.  Love you all!!

Trevor was taking an 18 hour train ride with his team from Kiev to southern Ukraine on September 6 when he first started feeling sick. It started with dizziness, nausea, and headaches. Over the next couple days, an upset stomach and a fever were added. His team took him to the local hospital who put him on an IV and then released him. Then he started getting worse. The fever wouldn't break, and he would pass out a couple times a day. The team took him back to the hospital, and that's when I got the call about his condition. I immediately got on skype to call his father in the States to let him know of the problem. We quickly made arrangements to fly him up to a Kiev to a better hospital with his friend and teammate, Tyler. Unfortunately, he was already too sick to get on a plane so they admitted him to a different hospital. By the next day, they took the risk to fly him up to Kiev where I would meet them at the airport. He blacked out seven times that day including as he was boarding the plane. The airport officials took Trevor and Tyler's bags off the plane once they saw him black out, but the Lord intervened and the officials then decided to let him on. (Quick note...in addition to honoring Trevor, this blog is also very much about glorifying the Lord because he came through relentlessly on multiple occasions and exactly when we needed him the most.) Trevor passed out a couple times on the plane, and Tyler would do everything he could to bring him back to consciousness. Their plane was scheduled to arrive at midnight on September 12, and I was waiting for them at baggage claim, but I couldn't find them anywhere. I described the guys to a woman there, and she said there was an emergency on the plane. Moments later, an ambulance pulled up and I saw Tyler in it and Trevor on a stretcher. We quickly went to the airport hospital where Trevor passed out trying to get from the ambulance to the bed and was quickly evaluated. We were then taken by ambulance to city hospital #4. Tyler's and my original intention was to take him to a modern hospital in town by taxi. We lost that option when we had to use an ambulance. We later found out that the hospital where we wanted to take him wouldn't have admitted him. Again, praise the Lord. At hospital #4, Trevor was evaluated until 4 AM. He passed out as he sat up while they were in the process of taking a blood sample. The doctors came rushing over, threw water on him, and slapped his face until he came back. 

Tyler and I were then forced to leave and still had no idea what was going on or how serious it was. When we arrived at the hospital the next day, we found out Trevor had been transferred to hospital #9. We had no idea where that was or how to get to him, but the Lord sent us help. He sent us Jane who is an English speaking doctor, and she immediately put us in her car and took us straight there. It was from Jane that we found out what it was. It was malaria, and it was bad. We've had plenty of malaria on the squad this year but nothing like this. He must have been bitten by a mosquito in Africa, and it likely just sat in his system until it erupted. Jane said there are four kinds of malaria, and Trevor had all of them. Malaria can be deadly, and Trevor had it as bad as you can get it. She said this was the one hospital that can treat cases of malaria. However, the hospitals here aren't like US hospitals. The facilities and technology are extremely primitive. They don't let you visit patients in their rooms, and there are bars over the windows. In addition, they don't have any money, and therefore, don't have any medicine. Tyler and I couldn't believe it. We thought we had finished what was required of us. We got him to the hospital, and they'll take care of it from here. Not the case. Jane explained that each patient has to pay for their own medicine. Otherwise, the patient just lays there until the patient gets better or doesn't get better. I went straight to the phones, and through a local contact in town, the Lord provided us with a doctor in the city who could get medicine out to us. He arrived that night and got him started on the medicine. I later found out that the medicine was started just in time. The malaria was close to getting to his brain, but the medicine that was started that night likely prevented it. Thank you, Lord. After the medicine had been started, the doctor pulled me aside and told me how bad it was. He said on a scale of severity, he was a 9.5 out of 10. I asked him if we could medevac him out of here immediately to get to a better hospital. He said he didn't think Trevor would survive a flight to the US or even to Western Europe. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as he spoke, and they're in my eyes again right now as I type this and think back on those moments. I told Tyler who then told Trevor's father and could barely get the words out. Trevor's dad was on the next flight out to Kiev. I prayed healing over Trevor from outside his window that night and members of Team One Love, who are serving in Kiev this month, slept on the sidewalk below his window the whole night so he wouldn't be alone. I tried to sleep that night but couldn't. I could only think about him lying alone in that bed knowing that he was in rough shape while his parents, who must have felt completely helpless, were half a world away.

Tyler and I arrived the next morning and were met by surgeons. They said his spleen had ruptured while trying to fight the malaria and had to be removed. We waited at the hospital all day for him to come out of surgery. Finally some good news...successful surgery with no complications. The doctor told us how strong he was and that his spleen had bled out enough into his abdomen to be fatal. Praise the Lord that the surgery happened just in time. His dad, Dan, arrived that afternoon. I had to fight back tears again as I watched Dan walk up to the barred window and greet his son. Finally. Finally, Trevor had one of the closest people in his lives at that window. 

For the next 4 days, Dan, Jake, Tyler, and I would spend all day, every day at the hospital. We were on the phone with family, Adventures in Missions, members of the squad, doctors, insurance companies, and the US Embassy. The Lord sent us two faithful Ukranian translators, Taras and Katia, so we could communicate with the doctors, and Trevor was improving to the point where we could speak with him and encourage him. A specialist had just arrived in Kiev from Uganda, likely where Trevor got malaria, and had better medicine with him. Thank you, Lord. As soon as the new medicine was given to him, he started to respond. The parasite count started declining, and his condition started improving even more.

As of September 18, Trevor and his dad are no longer in Kiev. The doctors said he was stable enough to medevac him to London to finish recovering. He'll likely be there for a week or two and then be well enough to return to the US. As I write this, all I can do is praise the Lord. He heard the prayers of people all over the world and responded by giving us exactly what we needed, exactly when we needed it. I want to honor Trevor as well. That boy fought so hard. We never did tell him how serious things were. We never told him that the doctors said it was a 9.5 out of 10 or that the amount of blood in his abdomen was enough to be fatal. Maybe the doctors told him. If they did, he didn't say a word about it. He certainly didn't need to hear about it from us. He just needed to know that we were in his corner, that people all over the world were praying for him, to keep fighting, and that we loved him. It's a joy to be writing this today knowing that he is in London and recovering well. Thank you, Trevor, for being the definition of courage, and thank you, Lord, for being exactly who you are.

It's hard for me to believe there are only three months left of the Race. Being at launch in New Zealand seems like it happened yesterday, and images that are still so fresh in my mind keep popping up as I look back over the last eight months. Eight months!! Tonight I get on a plane to Europe. We have a one week conference in Ireland called The Awakening with every squad that is currently out on the Race. Squads will literally be coming from all ends of the earth to meet in Ireland. It's blowing my mind that the last continent is here. We've completed the Oceanic, Asian, and African portions of the race, and now there is only one more. 

The Lord can do so much in three months, and I pray that he does. I was answering a question the other day about ways that I've grown over the last eight months and got into a discussion about ways that I still want to grow. I want the Lord to teach me to love much. That's it. That's my prayer for growth for these last three months of the Race.  I want him to use his Holy Spirit to wash over me a love so strong for him and for his people. I want this love to replace the human love that I often operate in. My human love falls so short, and I pray that he uses the Spirit to bring about a supernatural love in me. I want that love to be fully returned to the Lord in the way that I fall more and more in love with him. I also want that love to permeate every human relationship I'm in...with family, friends, strangers, and enemies. Matthew 22:37-39 - Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself." Love God and love others. If I don't experience huge growth in that on the race, then I will have missed much. Join me in prayer for that if you are willing.

Looking back over my time in ministry in Africa is so strange for me to think about since the memories are so fresh. It's such a unique culture. The sights, sounds, and smells are so different than in America. The children are beautiful and will come from any distance to interact with you. The people of Africa are hungry for the Lord. They want to hear you speak about the Lord...even if they are not Christians. They want to hear you preach. I am so thankful to have had that opportunity a couple times while here. They want to see you dance!! The children are looking for any and every opportunity to go crazy. I don't like dancing...but I'll dance with African children anytime!

This last week I took a break from dancing to pray for a demon-possessed woman. There were a number of pastors praying for her as she crawled and flailed her arms all over the dance floor. She would crawl through the dirt to new places and send the children scattering. I would follow her wherever she went to be close to her and pray for her. Everything was fine until, in the middle of one of my prayers, she crawled straight at me with her arms going wild and punched me in the groin. What?!?! Are you kidding me? Did I just get punched by a woman on accident or did I just get sucker punched by a demon?!?! If it's the former, no big deal. If it's the latter, I'm furious!! I said one final prayer for her and went back to dancing with the children J

One final story. It's about a 50 year old man named Mohammed who lived in one of the fishing villages. He had been a Muslim for 45 years and followed a local cult, where the leader believed that he was God, for the last 5 years. I was able to share the gospel with him and hold his hands as he prayed to give his life to Christ. We were even able to supply him with a Bible before we left. It was such a beautiful moment. After praying, he told me he wanted to change his name. The local Christians who were with me told him that he didn't need to do that. He could just keep his Muslim name but know in his heart that he was different. He quickly pushed back. He knew he was a new creation in Christ, and as a new creation, he wanted a new name. Amen, Mohammed. Amen!!

I have been with a team in Hoima, Uganda, and like much of my time ministry in Africa, I had spent the previous days doing door to door evangelism in small villages and spending time with the community at an evening open-air crusade. The ministry is intense and very exhausting in Africa. The days can often be very long and draining. It's a culture that's fascinated with mzungus (white people), and wherever you are, a crowd will be there also. The last night of ministry in Hoima was very unique. We had just finished going door to door and had some great conversations about Christ and led a few children to the Lord. The night was going to be a busy one so I took some time before dinner to just relax outside. There was a huge thunderstorm rolling in, and I sat down on a mat next to a few children to watch it. The kids here are so amazing. They don't know any English, and they quickly learn that I don't know much of their language so they usually end up just sitting there and staring.  Today wasn't any different. I was having fun teaching the kids new handshakes and more and more started to come up and take turns staring at me. Pretty soon one of the adults came over and asked me to pray for her. After I opened my eyes, there was another person there. And then another. And then another with her children. It was so much fun to pray and pray and pray for person after person for healing or simply that the Lord would continue to provide for them. It was one of those unexpected moments in ministry that turns out to be so memorable.

The following day was Sunday and is the one that I was talking about being one of the tough ones that come around from time to time. We were up at 6 AM to be ready for the first of three church services in which we were going to be singing and preaching. The first service started at 7 AM, and the last one ended around 1:30 PM. They were good, but after the intensity of the previous days, we were exhausted. We were relieved to hear that our ministry contact was giving us the rest of the afternoon off before making the two hour trip back into the city the next morning. I sat down to watch Die Hard 4 on the computer with the other two guys on the team (great movie, by the way). This is the point where the day went south quickly. Just as the movie ended, our ministry contact rushed in and said that we had to leave immediately to catch a ride in a van back to Hoima. In an instant, we went from "relaxing/enjoying the day off" mode to "throw all of your stuff in the pack and pay your bill before you miss your ride" mode. Chaos.

We made it to the van and did the usual African routine of trying to pack in twice as many people as the capacity would allow. I was sitting in the front seat in the middle and getting more and more frustrated about being so hot because I was sitting on the seat directly above the engine and had my backpack sitting on me while also having to move my leg every time the driver needed to shift gears. I was so tired but quickly realized there wasn't going to any sleeping on this two hour journey...or at least we thought it would take two hours. Apparently a lot can happen in a short trip. This particular trip included getting stuck for a half hour in the muddy road because of the rain. Shortly after that, the other van ran out of gas to cause the second major delay. Finally, to complete the trip, our van got a flat tire about a mile from our destination. Our team was so tired and frustrated at this point that we were perfectly fine with leaving the van behind and walking the last mile to the church. It was late, and we didn't have a place to sleep yet and were hoping that we would be taken straight to our beds. Not the case. There was a welcoming party with singing and hugs and a meal waiting for us at the church. Let me take a moment to say that I genuinely appreciate and love the African hospitality. It was just a rough time for the team to be the center of attention. Things didn't get much better. I found out that I lost a pair of shorts that fell out of my bag because I didn't have time to pack properly in the frantic departure and even shot a bottle cap off my face because I used a bench in the church to try to open it since a bottle opener was nowhere to be found. By the time we got all of our bags moved to the rooms, the level of exhaustion for the whole team had reached its peak. I can remember just sitting on my bed underneath my mosquito net staring at the ground for a number of minutes being too tired to unpack anything from my bags. Krissy, my fellow squad leader, glanced in as she walked by, and we both took a second to make sure the other was ok. 

Looking back, now that I've caught up on rest and my spirit is restored, I can smile when I think about the day. It was just one of those days that happens no matter where you are in the world in which you expect one thing (rest, in this case) and then the opposite happens. That's it. If there's a deep lesson to be learned there, I don't have it yet. The Lord is still good. He's still doing incredible things. He can still be honored when the days are hard. I just wanted to give you a complete picture of the great days and the harder days through this blog so you can better understand the experience of The World Race!! 

As the journey began, bigger problems started to arise. Many of the roads on the trip were not paved so dust would just pour in through the open windows. My rusty piece of metal was not fastened and dust easily came in through that space as well. All of that dust would just collect in the back of the bus, and we were absolutely covered by the end of the trip. About three hours into the drive, our driver hit a bump going way too fast, and it launched me into the underside of the luggage rack that was at least 8 inches above my head. I'm not sure what suffered the most damage...me or the luggage rack. The plastic around the air vents of the rack was cracked in two places but so was my head. It bled for a little bit, but we were able to turn it into a joke pretty quickly. To complete the bus fun, midway through the trip my scrap metal window blew wide open. The banging sound of metal on metal that we'd endured for the entire trip was replaced with wind and dust blowing in with nothing to stop it. Awesome.

Our trip concluded with news that changed our entire plans for the month. The team leader of Team Seven called us to let us know that their team had been robbed at gunpoint. A group of 12 men surrounded their host home while a different group of 8 men broke into the house with a shotgun, clubs, and some rocks as the team was gathering for dinner. They quickly fled to their rooms for safety while the group of thieves moved from room to room threatening their lives and stealing their belongings. Within 5 minutes almost all of their valuables were gone. With the help of Adventures in Missions back in the States, we quickly made arrangements for them to get to a safe place, and Krissy and I met them at the safe location as soon as we arrived in Dar. Our original plan was to only spend one night in Dar and then move on to another city. Therefore, we praise the Lord that he put us so close to the situation the night that it happened so we could be there to help them immediately. Our ministry for the next few days was completely focused on helping them return to a healthy state mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually so that they could continue with the race. We spent time in prayer with them, offered our counsel and encouragement, went to the US embassy for 3 new passports, helped them buy the essentials such as underwear and t-shirts, and shared times of freeing tears and laughter. The team is currently walking through feelings of bitterness, anger, and fear, and the Lord is delivering them from each area.

The Lord is so good. Our entire squad is going through some hard times right now as we deal with sicknesses, the robberies, and outright fatigue being this deep into the race. He works all things out for good though, and we know that we can look at the trials in our lives with pure joy because those trials produce life-giving character in us (James 1:2) and make us more like Christ. That is my prayer for this squad, and I hope that you'll join me in that. May everything that this squad is going through be used for good, and may the trials become part of our testimony about how the Lord has provided for us, protected us, and made us more like his Son. I also pray that we will look back on these trials someday with pure joy knowing that through them, the Lord did some incredible work in each of us.